i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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