Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants