apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine