I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
