me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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