We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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