I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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