I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize