3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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