I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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