She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
