Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
