I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
