I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
