Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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