They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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