Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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