Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
