Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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