I need help removing her.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
