There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
