her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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