Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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