1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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