did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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