Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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