I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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