That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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