my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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