hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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