i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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