You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Two words: nipple clamps
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