So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
