so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.