Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry about my life...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
