Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I want 2 things right now, you or a cig

  (810): View more from Michigan

  cig

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  (248): I want 2 things right now, you or a cig (810): cig http://tfl.nu/vys5
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (1526)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

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  (204): It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker. http://tfl.nu/sreq
  Replies (8) Good night (4046) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.

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  (503): the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me. http://tfl.nu/obxv
  Replies (38) Good night (5579) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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  (610): i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/1i94
  Replies (8) Good night (721) Bad night (3359)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.

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  (616): i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/oy0i
  Replies (9) Good night (2263) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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  (303): there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation http://tfl.nu/pddg
  Replies (1) Good night (3058) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

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  (719): If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies? http://tfl.nu/dbdn
  Replies (9) Good night (1929) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

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  (919): Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out. http://tfl.nu/vb1r
  Replies (3) Good night (1315) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.

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  (682): She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels. http://tfl.nu/oykt
  Replies (12) Good night (1211) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

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  (347): That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where. http://tfl.nu/6uae
  Replies (11) Good night (782) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.

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  (785): Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons. http://tfl.nu/zvq7
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous

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  (248): Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous http://tfl.nu/u4ke
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going

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  (203): I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going http://tfl.nu/1nul
  Replies (2) Good night (232) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.

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  (989): 8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me. http://tfl.nu/04oc
  Replies (0) Good night (241) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover

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  (704): I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover http://tfl.nu/ptac
  Replies (1) Good night (225) Bad night (169)

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