I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up