biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
