Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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