I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
