i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
