dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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