it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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