i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
