nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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