I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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