is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
