Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
