Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
