I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
