I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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