also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
