yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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