you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
