I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
false alarm, still single
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
