I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize