Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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