he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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