I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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