Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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