Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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