So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
