i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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