i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
