If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
