and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.