just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.