i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize