Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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