I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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