Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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