Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
