I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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